Miserable
by OokamiHime567
Summary: Naruto is forced to reflect on his feelings about Sasuke as he is faced with something that is too much. **Don't own Naruto or the characters
1. Chapter 1

Miserable

Naruto sat with his hands in hair, his eyes shut tightly. His fingers clutched tightly at the roots and he shook with every shaky breath he took. The bench he sat on was bent and it dug into his back but Naruto paid it no mind when the situation that had just occurred kept playing over in his head.

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_Naruto smiled and raced to the training grounds with his hands excitedly clutching the papers in his arms. Sasuke was going to be so freaking jealous! _

_He looked down at the crinkled papers and a wide grin almost split his face in half._

'_Naruto Uzumaki: promotion to- Jounin._

_Squad: 3_

_Partner: Sasuke Uchiha'_

_He giggled and when he stepped foot in the training area, his eyes lit up and the excitement bubbling in his chest was ready to burst._

"_Sasuke you bastard! You thought I could-"Naruto shouted but the words choked in his throat at the scene._

_Dark hair was plastered to sweaty pale skin._

_Slim but strong arms wrapped around a curvy plump bottom._

_Her screams of pleasure from the constant rocking motion and his steady grunts._

_Horror filled Naruto's eyes and the papers fluttered through the air and didn't touch the ground before Naruto was gone._

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Which was how Naruto was here, sitting on the bench and trying to keep himself from breaking down. He wanted to get so made at the Uchiha, but he couldn't. It was his own fault for not telling the boy his feelings but he didn't feel like he should have. Who else but someone who loved you would chase you for three years?

He knew how Sakura had pinned after the boy since they were genin and it was no surprise that Sasuke wanted to rebuild his clan. Sasuke also was a very attractive man, he was successful and after agreeing to return to the village, he made sure to avenge his name.

No one could talk or hear about Sasuke Uchiha without thinking: successful, good-looking, last Uchiha.

Naruto whimpered and tugged on his hair making his sensitive scalp scream in pain as he tried to transfer the pain from his heart to his head.

'Why didn't I tell him? Why did I wait so damn long?! I lost him…' Naruto thought as tears streamed freely down his whisker covered cheeks. His legs shook he knew he must have looked a mess when he felt snot run out of his nose and drip on his lips.

"Why are you crying like a baby, usuratonkachi?"

Naruto jerked and he met Sasuke's gaze and averted them quickly when he saw the coal eyes narrow.

"What happened Naruto?"

Naruto felt his heart clench and it hurt so bad to smile shakily at the pale skinned boy.

"Psh, nothing Sasuke-teme. I'm tired from my exams." Naruto said as he hastily wiped the snot and tears off his face. His blood shot, dull blue eyes met alert and calculating dark ones.

Sasuke's face contorted into a frown and he took a step toward his best friend.

"Naruto, I'm not an idiot. Tell me what's wrong." Sasuke asked in a surprisingly soft voice.

'_You love someone else, but I don't know if I can stop loving you.'_

"Nothing, I just worked too hard today and just need to go soak."

'_I don't know if I'm strong enough to let you go.'_

"And anyway, shouldn't you be trying to go and get your next mission report." Naruto asked with a sniffle.

Sasuke looked doubtful but he nodded in agreement.

"I was just on my way…do, do you want to walk with me, to get it?" Sasuke offered with a tilt of his head. Naruto shook his head with a small smile.

"I-I'm kinda tired of being outside, I think I'm going to go home, see you later." Naruto sped off before hearing Sasuke's retort.

He landed in front of his door about ten minutes later and he numbly unlocked the door before walking in. He shut the door and walked past the kitchen, dirty living room, and the bathroom before he entered his room.

He slumped down in the bed and curled up on himself, willing the pain in his chest to just _stop._

He didn't like it. He didn't like the way it made him think of his chances being stomped on and thrown away. He didn't like how it made him feel so, so _miserable_.

His eyes opened and stared at the picture he had been looking at before he left. It was faded and the corners were worn but he could still make out the picture.

He and Sasuke had been racing to see who could get back to the campsite first and they ignored when Sakura and Kakashi called for them to calm down.

He shook his head and a tear dropped on the picture.

Sasuke had of course made it there first but Naruto was so tired that he didn't care. He had slumped down on Sasuke and laid his head on his shoulder and gently drifted off in an exhausted sleep while Sasuke looped an arm around his waist. Apparently Kakashi had taken the picture for blackmail but Naruto demanded that he give him and Sasuke a copy as a keepsake.

He threw the picture on the desk and let himself breakdown. Tears trailed down and he didn't pay any mind the mess he was making of his only pillow. He wrapped his arms around himself and promised he would be there for Sasuke no matter what happened, but right now he deserved to mourn for the one thing he lost. The one thing he wanted more than anything in the world.

He wanted so bad to tell Sasuke how he felt, it was such a strong feeling that Naruto was surprised Kyuubi hadn't said anything.

He eventually stopped crying but his body still shook with silent sobs as his mind tried to recuperate by going to sleep but he didn't want to go to sleep.

Sleep meant dreaming about the object of his affections, dreaming about the non-existent feeling of pale pink lips on his own. Naruto closed his eyes and tried to ignore the taunting voices in his head, telling him all the things he couldn't have.

"You can't have a mom, a dad, a decent life, a mentor, and now…you can't even have your own best friend." It teased coldly.

Naruto groaned and pleaded to Kyuubi.

'_Please, I don't wanna be awake anymore, I don't wanna dream. Please, please.'_

Suddenly Naruto began to feel his chakra being drained and felt his eye-lids grow heavy. Not a word was said and Naruto sighed in relief.

"Don't worry Sasuke; I won't let you be miserable with me." Naruto promised before his body fell limp from its tense form and the thoughts stopped.

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Inspired by the song Miserable at best by Mayday Parade.

This will have a sequel, don't worry.

Enjoy and review.


	2. Chapter 2

Miserable 2

Sorry this took so long, I've been pretty busy with school work and shit. Here it is; the last installment of Miserable. Keep in mind that this is not what I usually write so don't expect to see this often.

Naruto woke groggily with a yawn and his eyes opened slowly. He stretched and made his way to the bathroom where he relieved himself and did his daily morning routine. After that he went straight back into his room and collapsed on the bed.

He didn't plan on going anywhere today anyway. On behalf of his promotion, Tsunade decided to give him a week and a half off from missions. He buried himself in the warm blankets and rubbed his stomach soothingly; it helped relax him.

His eyes had just begun to droop sleepily when his front door banged open. He jerked awake and scrambled up from his sleeping position when the last person he wanted to see waltzed into this room.

He threw the covers over his head as he felt the bed dip down.

"Since when did you get a key to my apartment, Sasuke?" he mumbled. He felt hands begin to lightly tug at the blankets and his grip on them tightened.

"Get up usuratonkachi, we need to train." He ignored Naruto's question completely.

Naruto was tempted to play dead but knew Sasuke was surprisingly stubborn when it came to certain things. He slipped the blankets off his head and avoided the dark gaze that he felt boring into the back of his head. He made his way to the closet and smiled small at the other teen.

"Sure, can you wait outside so I can change?" Naruto voiced turning back to the closet, flipping through clothes. He didn't hear Sasuke say anything but he did hear the room door close and he slumped against the closet door with a sigh.

Why? Why did Kami hate him so damn much? This was just…too much.

He shook his head and took out a black t-shirt and a pair of blue capris. As he got dressed, he realized he would have to get through this day with the person he loved and hated at the same time. He slipped on some shoes and grabbed his keys before walking out the room. He walked into the living room and for the first time that day, looked at Sasuke.

He wore a dark blue shirt much like Naruto's and a pair of black shorts. He had his weapon pouch and two scrolls on his waist which confirmed what Sasuke had been talking about.

Naruto walked to the door and grabbed his own weapon pouch that lay on the table and gestured for Sasuke to come on.

"Are we gonna train or not?"

Sasuke looked at him oddly but nodded and followed him out the door.

They walked out in silence as Naruto locked his door and as they walked to the training grounds. Naruto felt his chest begin to hurt and you know that feeling when your throat starts to hurt when holding back tears? Yeah, that's the feeling he had.

Sasuke stopped and turned around and all the pent up emotions inside of Naruto struggled to stay inside.

He breathed and took his place across from the dark haired boy. Sasuke pulled out a kunai and Naruto mirrored his movement with narrow eyes.

Maybe if he fought and got some of these emotions out then he wouldn't be so damn depressed. Not a second later Sasuke disappeared in a blur. Naruto mechanically blocked the kick aimed at his face and countered with a punch of his own. Sasuke managed to doge and Naruto growled before whipping his kunai in Sasuke's direction.

Sasuke blocked it with his own and stared at Naruto with confused, angry eyes.

"Naruto what the he-!" Sasuke was interrupted as suddenly Naruto began to punch at him recklessly. He left himself open to many attacks but they were coming so fast that Sasuke couldn't do anything but block.

"Naruto! What is wrong with you!?" Sasuke shouted. Naruto snarled and continued to attack the boy with chakra- fueled punches. He couldn't control himself, the anger and pure hurt was reverberating in his whole body and it was making him desperate.

"I hate you!" He growled out. Sasuke paused and Naruto took that as an opportunity and landed a hit square in Sasuke's eye. Sasuke flew back from the force of the hit and Naruto was on him within a second.

Straddling Sasuke's waist, he grabbed his collar and yanked him up to his angry face. Sasuke looked at the face above his and a shocked expression replaced his angry one.

Naruto blue eyes were blazing in fury and the hurt that he saw in them was upsetting. His lips were quivering with the strain of keeping the sobs and pain in.

"Naruto…?" Sasuke whispered. Blue eyes widened before screwing shut at the words. His hands shook around the cloth of Sasuke's shirt and he tightened them in an attempt to make them stop.

"I…hate you so much." Were the whispered words.

Sasuke's breath caught in his throat and pain blossomed in his chest and stomach as the words registered in his mind.

Naruto…_hated_ him.

"I don't want to, but you keep…_hurting_ me. I can't take it anymore." Naruto said as hiccups racked his whole body and the sobs escaped from his lips. Tears fell from his eyes onto Sasuke's pale cheeks.

Sasuke's hands came up and cupped Naruto's wet face.

"Wh…What did I do?" He asked with a gulp. Naruto shook his head his body collapsed on the darker haired boy's.

"I hate you, I hate you…I love you so much!" Naruto cried. His hands released the shirt and buried themselves in dark blue hair.

"Sasuke, I love you so much but, but you want her! I-I'm the one who fought three years to get you back, I endured all your hateful words and the constant attempts on my life from you! I did!"

Naruto then opened his eyes and stared straight into Sasuke's guilt ridden ones.

"So why can't I have you, huh? Why does she get your love while I get nothing? I-I want parents, I want Jiraiya back, and I want to have a good life but, do you know what I would die for?"

Sasuke averted his gaze and Naruto hands grabbed his face and turned it back to him.

"_I would die for you, I want _you_." _Naruto whispered with half lid eyes. Sasuke's breath hitched in his throat and watched with wide, nervous eyes as Naruto's face got closer and closer to his.

"But I know that there is a slim chance in hell that you could love me anything other than a best friend so what I'm going to do is _take _it. Why? Mostly because I am going to get this one good thing in my life and I feel like I fucking deserve it." Naruto growled. He sniffled and Sasuke absentmindedly thought it kind of ruined his tough guy act but that was pushed out of his mind when he felt hesitant, soft lips on his own.

Naruto had closed his eyes when he dived in but Sasuke could see the reluctance and hear the thoughts going through his head. He probably thought that Sasuke was going to punch him in the face.

…Which he was, but later, after they got this all figured out.

He reached up and separated Naruto's face from his own before staring into the clear blue eyes that were beginning to water again. He licked his lips and could taste the toothpaste that Naruto had used this morning.

"I kn-knew-!" Naruto was stopped by the hand that covered his mouth. Sasuke stared up at him with narrowed coal colored eyes that shined.

"I didn't say anything yet so don't say what you know." Naruto sniffled and wiped the tears that had begun to run down his face and onto Sasuke's hand. He sat back and Sasuke followed him so that they were in a sitting position. He wrapped his arms around Naruto's waist and leaned his forehead on Naruto's.

"I'm sorry that I did this to you."

"You better be teme!"

Sasuke sighed and glared at Naruto, though it held little heat.

"Like I was saying, I'm sorry but you should have told me sooner. At least I would have known. And please, Sakura? I don't _love_ her. She wanted a chance with me even though she knew damn well that we would never be together." Sasuke explained. Naruto stared at him with wide doe eyes.

He sighed again before leaning forward slightly to rub his nose on Naruto's in an innocent Eskimo kiss. He smirked when the blond haired boy blushed at the chaste act and jerked Naruto even closer to him. Their stomachs rubbed together comfortably and Naruto made himself pay no mind to the fact that Sasuke's member was pressed right onto him.

"Now that we got that cleared up, I think that you should apologize for punching me in the face." Naruto gasped and lightly touched the bruise that had begun to bloom around the right, coal eye.

"Shit, that looks like it hurts…does it hurt?" Naruto hissed. Sasuke looked at him disbelievingly.

"Yeah, it hurts."

Naruto hissed again and leaned forward, placing a light, chaste kiss on the darkened skin.

"There, now it'll get better quicker."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and leaned his head on his shoulder.

"I'm going home, why? Because my face fucking hurts, if you're coming, let's go."

Sasuke dumped him off his lap and stood. Naruto scrambled to his feet and followed after Sasuke before slowing next to him.

He stared at the dark haired boy and his breath hitched as he stuck out a hand. Naruto stared at it before he smiled and took it in his own.

"_I love you."_ Naruto whipped his head in Sasuke's direction.

"What?"

"Nothing, just thinking about what I'm gonna do tomorrow."

Naruto shrugged before swinging their adjoined hands happily.

"I love you too."

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Hope that you liked this chapter, it's the last one. Enjoy and review!


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